Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Attack Of The Ladybirds



HI Homosapiens.......... it's been a long time coming for me to rant about something that really just latch on to my tits and attempts to draw blood where possible. My home has been invaded with Ladybirds and this little fuckers I mean are every where. They come in all different colours and sizes. 


Even on my lighters the fuckers
I understand and appreciate those of you Homosapiens that think these little critters called Ladybirds,  are natures cutest insects. From the Disney's portrayal of Ladybirds in the film "A Bugs Life", I can see why they might seem appealing (But yet confusing to youngsters who think Ladybirds are all female, only to learn that they can also be male). And to be honest they were once for me, appealing, but now over the last two years of moving homes (A home where not only Ladybirds populate but any other critters and mammals that I do adore) Ladybirds have become a nuisance. Let me tell you why....... 


Bathroom 2
Bathroom 1
Hallway
1: Whilst watching T.V, in the evening they all seem to flood in towards the lights of the screen and bulbs hanging above, this is freaking annoying for the fact I have a very keen sense of hearing meaning I will no doubt hear a water drop 10 feet away or hear my neighbours turn their own T.Vs on. All I hear are these Ladybird's wings fluttering and the hard out shell (Wing protectors) crashing against the lamp shade, thunderously thudding on the screen and then they have the cheek to impair my vision more, by dancing around (It seems they are mocking the fuck out off my life). 


2: I've just woken up and walk my way to the toilet (We've all been there), or I am just walking around the house looking for something, getting on with the little chores I have (I leave them all to the partner, fuck stressing over cleaning and shit, I cook that's enough I fill your belly), and....... A Ladybird decided to swoop in your sight aiming what it seem for one of your eyes, or only to aggravate you by homing on your massive head (To them it looks) and swooping upwards then making the mad cray circles before coming in for the next attack. Now when you've just woken up and you have not got you full vision or just plain not expecting it ~(Cause you shouldn't really have to) You end up busting your  big toe on some shape corner tryna be all Neo like tryna dodge them Matrix (Ladybird) bullets, or worst yet you blood pressure rises when you role up that magazine you haven't read for days and look up, get your aim all good (You think any way) and the fucker comes at you so fast, so unexpected and your heart does that extreme pumping that would be dangerous for any one with a pacemaker.
Even Cheatara is on the little critters


Now I only have two big reason why Ladybirds really need to get up and go, but I have more reason why they should stay. Yes I dislike them. Now although I haven't got any pictures as yet (And thank the God above cause I could be breaking some wildlife law), But I like to wear Ladybirds as that extra Marbie like alternative Fashion. Ladybirds look great as earrings, as they all have their own markings like fingerprints, Ladybirds come in different sizes  O O O, I've also been know to wear them as neck Jewelery, arm jewelery, as hair tie back (hair gelled down first the Ladybird carefully placed), So yeah Homosapiens, I be getting my own back on these so called Lady-like Birds.




If your ever Planning on getting rid of LadyBirds

  1. If there are a few Ladybirds, you can just pick them up and throw them out the window (Don't be a pussy about things like these they don't bite)
  2. Seal all cracks and crevices in your home, remember they are small and can find their way in in they have to (Want to more like) Use foam moulding or go to you local DIY shop for more professional advise.
  3. Use your Vacuum cleaner, my friend Jubilee does this all the time. She has the same problem.
The Evil ways That Kill them.........
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  • Spray lemon scented cleaner on them, this will most likely kill them.
  • Spray all purpose spray cleaner on the Ladybird/s. (A lot of spraying huh)
  • My Favourite method (And a bit sadistic) Put them in a shoot glass (This one comes in 3) Then place water in it and put in the freezer, in the shoot glass again and put and shoot glass over/mid-inside them other and starve it to death, do the two shoot glass method and place on you central heating (They try to escape and that's how I get my jewels when i need them)
This Mornings findings before my bath.


Ladybird facts

Ladybird larvae have a spiky, segmented body with powerful jaws and a ferocious appetite for aphids no wonder that they are often referred to as ‘insect alligators’. Take care not to harm them. The more that survive then the better will be your natural defence against pests (This is assuming you have a maintained garden)



ladybird larva
Cute!


Life Cycle
Starting as a tiny, shiny, yellow egg, laid in a cluster on a leaf, they become this leaf eater on your left then the fuckers that so annoy me.



How Many Spots
Of the 42 different species of ladybird in the UK the most common is the seven-spot ladybird. This bright red ladybird has seven spots and is thought to have inspired the name ladybird: “Lady” referring to the Virgin Mary (Our lady)(Not my Lady) who in early paintings is seen wearing a red cloak; the seven spots are symbolic of the seven joys and seven sorrows of Mary... Where this may be true in different parts of the country i sure do see the Black, two red spotted kind more often as do I the yellow and the orange  species. 

  




























And you know what else about these little cunts (Excuse me), they are invading my home in all seasons, Winter through to Summer. So if you do see your dear Rogue "Marbie" Scott all bruised up and banged up toes on the beach somewhere, I beg of you not to assume domestic violence from the get go, assume the Ladybird fuckers that have plauged my life for the last two years.

So Hows your Easter Break going Dudes and Dudettes? Hope all is well. I'm enjoying the sun with my family, with No Ladybirds insight (for now).

Monday, 18 April 2011

Working on two blogs isn't easy with a fulltime job and children.

Hello Homosapiens........ So I have got another blog less you forget, but it's dawned upon my frazzled (From all the vodka and wine mixers over the weekend) That i haven't yet told you where to find it well, here your chance:


Thanks for the comment and emails to all you lovely Homosapiens. Homosapiens means Human nothing else....like duh, Ohoh and all those that celebrate Easter and all the festivities around this time, have a great time and drink safely drinkers. 

My advise is Drinking and dialling is as bad is drinking and driving. don't do it. 

Any suggestions email me here: roguescottm@googlemail.com

Or log on to Facebook and search my signature (Pictured) page Rogue.

Facebook Page

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Rogue Scott Want YOUR Votes

Have you voted for your fav picture as yet? Please do I still have chosen my fav yet so need your help.

Top 7 things to do and have, when the sun shines down on us

 Hello Homosapiens, London has had a outburst of sun rays blessing us with some nice, warm, drinking in the park weather (never mind the dog shit and the whinging kids who want ice-cram). This week I have seen the population trying to bare too their spring buds of May, where some are just not cutting it and some are just looking divine. I need a list, I'm going to share with you a list that you should do and have ready to blossom in the sun in all your grace without the word "FUGLY" being used in a sentence with your name.


At number 7:
Sun Screen 

Now a lot of folks are out in the sun without sunscreen. Cancer alert!!!! We all need sunscreen no matter what your skin tone. The most common thing I hear is "I'm black I don't need sunscreen." No Homosapiens you too need it, just cause your skin is darker and yes black will fucking crack if you don't take care of your skin.  Skin Cancer can happen to anybody, so Homosapiens take care of it. I use SPF 15 every day on my skin although I would recommend SPF's 15 up to SPF 40 (Non greasy to, I hate getting sand in those places the moon only shine on)

"The reason why is that everybody can get damage from the sun regardless of what their skin color is. Even though Blacks have more melanin (protective skin pigments) in their skin, it doesn't protect them completely." Dr. Rebat Halder, professor and chairman of dermatology at Howard University

  












And to add, After sun is also good for the skin when your vacate to the late night bars. Remember sunscreen is an all year round thing you should be using, just cause it's not hot doesn't mean those harm rays won't get you.

Number 6:
Sun Glasses

A bit of a fashion statement but how many of you Homosapiens understand why they probably were more probably were made and designed? Yes to protect yours eyes from the cosmic UV rays of the sun. We all what to look our best no matter what and we should all care about our health. Even if you blind you still need protection so don't us your inability of sight as an excuse it just won't make the final cut. 
why sun glasses? To look Roguetastic and also  because exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sunlight has been associated with the development of  cataracts and age-related macular degeneration (AMD). good quality sunglasses protect your eyes by blocking most if not all of the sun's harmful UV rays.  Sunglasses also protect the delicate skin around the eyes from UV rays that cause wrinkles and premature ageing. 

  













Number 5:
Appropriate attire 


I've been a victim of not wearing the appropriate attire during sun blast, but hey it's me and not you. I suggest that you wear clothing that is light and airy and not best suited to colder weather. This will no doubt cause dehydration (bad for the skin dudes and dudettes) and is bad for you well being. Dehydration is one of the most common cause of Homosapiens falling ill and feeling under the weather when really they should be on top. I don't want to see any one wearing woolly jumpers and fleece lined leather jackets (What's wrong with you people). And for you Homosapien parents out there, yes London as many parts in the world is cold, but when you hear that the weather is going to be 21c, you really should be looking at the wardrobe and look for something light. To many parents this week I have observed (What I am paid to do- Observe) have had their children in winter where "It's bloody spring and 21c fix up, it's a form of neglect and I will bust your asses."


Do's
Don'ts


















At Number 4:
Fix them Busted feet up please


Now come on, if you a Homosapien who likes to bare flesh (And bone) in your open toes (Or flat out open all round) you have to, come on, just have to fix up them busted feet before coming out in public. I must say not a lot of homosapiens have feet I want to look at, but with a little work and prepping them, I'm sure they can look better than crows, elephant, duck, corn feet (just to name a few). So Dudettes that means (Cause your so more likely to show of them feet) pedicure and moisturise them up and if you like a bit of polish do so. Dudes (If your daring) and least scrub that hard months worth of dry, cracked skin off and cut them fucking toe nails off, shit I can't be eating my food with a nice Ice-tea in my hand when you walk by, only for me to quickly look down unexpectedly to see some snagger, hang nail looking right at me saying "I'm here". 


And clip them toe nails!!!

  






















Number 3:
Deodorant and Anti-Perspirant:


Enough said, them funky smells I be smelling on the plane, bus and trains, get rid of. No one wants a hug from a homosapien with lagoons under there arms. I get that some people are misfortunate to sweat and have an also unfortunate odor too so here a heads up.  
  



























Present your self nicely


I get annoyed at homosapiens with those nice bodies that we all want to touch and hug and those with the normal body sets that don't go to the gym (And are naturally blessed or forsaken).... But come on if your going to be topless, showing your arms and legs and things of that nature, you have to prepare yourself regardless of how sudden the weather is (I'm talking to them jobless bums mostly, us working folk simpley don't always have the time). Wax that pepper corn hairy chest of yours, style your goatee, shave and sugar them legs fix that arm pit hair and shave your face. Pretty homosapiens (in my eyes) that have the body, face and attitude but come out looking a hot mess (No pun intended) in the heat, is not a sexy look. and too much hair is not a good look it's sun season not Sasquatch season.  The pictures below I'll let you decide what is sexy and what is not. 





 



  



















Wednesday, 6 April 2011

A Legal Alien in London with edits


Hello Homosapiens, So heres a video of the Legal Alien shoot and I've added a few edits of the photos I really love, (Only to find that I really fucking love a whole lot more.) Don't forget to vote for the photo you think I should have printed on Canvas, I won't be able to choose without you.

Sunday, 3 April 2011

A Legal Alien In London Photo shoot

Hello Homosapiens...... As promised here are a few of the pictures from the "A Legal Alien In London" Photo shoot. Hope you like them, I had so much fun in doing them and now can't wait for my next project. All will be revealed once I have got all much minds together as I have had a hell of a drinking weekend. Happy mothers day to all you mother homosapiens out there and mothers to be too. (Marbie smile)

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So Homosapiens, I hope you have enjoyed some of the shoot, like I loved the shoot. Don't forget if you want to seem more of the great work from Mz Storm, go over to her webpage >>>>HERE<<<<
I can't wait for you to see some of the edited pictures.   

P.S, Let me know which one or ones I should have printed on canvas.