Monday, 30 April 2012

Marbictionary coming soon..........

Hello Homosapiens, it's been a long while since I have given you a proper feed into my life as it be at present. Right now I'm working on my Marbictionary, reason being because a lot of Facebookers and twitters will ask what a word I use means and then I have to break it down (My friends and family have learnt the art of just going along with what I say Marbie smile) So look out for it soon.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Memoirs of Marbie: I Bust the Screen Of Your TV

Even then I was ready for the camera's eternal shot
“Yes Rogue did it he broke the tv, which is why now when we go to Michael and her’s, he is not allowed to watch tv, or even go into the family room. She thinks he’s possessed.”
Some time in 1988: Wearing my lets go and see the family member who I have seen for years clothing and Ramona also, dressed to look like we were the perfect single mothered family. My mother dressed in clothing I had no idea she owned anything like so and her very close friends Janeta, dressed like the bad girl I knew my mother was. No, she wasn't a bad girl she, but she did like to take us to a lot of parties and get togethers that Ramona's father's side of the family like to keep. Aunt Gee and Aunt Ceecee were always having some function, whether it be for a child's birthday, their own or some marriage. Getting into the cab driving for what seemed hours and me having to be strapped in the middle of my mum and sister. My mum was always afraid of me being next to the passenger doors after that time I opened the door whilst the car was still moving. That wasn't the first time and I'm sure I had done it more time after. 


We all arrive at Aunt Juju's home in west London and before ringing the bell, my mother I remember clamps her hand on mine and tells me t be well behaved, "Don't touch anything and don't question her. Just show her you beautiful smile" she says to me, Janeta rubs my shoulder and Ramona nudges me. It's not that I'm a bad kid, I just get bored easily. 
"Hello, my lovely. Oh look at you Ramona and Rogue look how you are growing, you want a sweety?" Tall, round, plump and curly haired Aunt Juju smiles her toothy smile that scares me and hell I do want some sweets, but I have to decline politely as Mummy dearest says they make me hyperactive, whatever that's meant to mean. "No, thank you. Where the toilet is mummy?" looking around the dark house, are they trying to save on electricity? Must be. in the passage doors, so many doors leading to so many different places I am yet to venture day. My mum shows me the way and closes the door behind me. I hear laughter and Ramona's fake sweet girl voice undertone that of Janeta's rough ghetto voice replying to Uncle Michael. Uncle Michael makes me laugh he is so tall and skinny, he looks like a long piss stain on a white wall with smudges of charcoal for his beard, eyebrows and hair, dress always in shirt and jumper combinations and trousers, always grey trousers. "I'm finished!" I scream out and swing the door open just to see my mum there waiting for me like I'm some lethal prisoner she can't trust.
"I told you don't start with me today" grabbing me by the shoulders she fixes my clothes and walks me to the family room. Snooker table, who the hell has a snooker table in their house? Aunt Jujube and Michael that's who and wow look at the size of that TV, I'm sure if I rock it a little bit it would fall on top of me and break something, better not then. I can smell that old black peoples smell that my Granny and Grandad's house has. Why is it that all black people have that same smell if they are from where we are from and white people's homes always smell of laundry and washing up liquid and Indian people, well you know they always smell of curry and spice, even when they're not at home the smell sticks to them like pritstick? The adults go into the kitchen leaving me and Ramona alone.
"Put the TV on then, yeah?" bouncing on the doily sofa I'm pleading Ramona to crank up the entertainment. "No, mum said you can't touch anything." She says to me holding my hands on my lap in some attempt in stopping my bunny rabbit bottom bouncing. Well, okay then so I guess I'm going to have to find something else to occupy my time in this 'Tales of the Crypt' house then. 
Uncle Michael comes in the room holding a very craved out small glass with some brown drink in it, I did ask if I could have some but he said it was 'A big people's drink' stupid doodoo head. They all arrive back from the kitchen and the show around the house.
Where am I? Why has every one stopped doing what they are doing and why are they as still and cold as ice? I'm not to sure why stand and the end of the snooker table. They are all frozen, time has stopped, I can play and prance around seeing as nobody is doing anything and then sit back down. I want to play snooker. "What has he done!" Aunt Jujube shouts out and begins chatting in Creole. Oh dear they weren't frozen after all,  just observing the room and glass on the floor from the TV and inside the TV lay there the orange snooker ball I wanted to play with and am very sure I didn't get the chance to. My mum pulls me to the bedroom and the lashings begin. Oops I Bust the screen out of her TV! 

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Memoirs of Marbie: Adults, Secrets and Lies


October 1993: A storm is coming, the nights are stirring with uneasy thoughts. She is up to something again I have a slight incline into what is going on, but still do not know the true extent of the going-on’s power. I think this battle I am going to loose.
My mum and the rest of us have been visiting my Aunt Claudine quite a bit now, not to mention Aunt Claudine’s evil twisted mother Aunt Vava and her subdued sister Aunt Jujube. The elders I never knew up until now, the family I craved for so many year has turned out to be a family I don’ want after all. You see my mother never, ever mentioned these family members and I had only meet Aunt Jujube, my Granny’s sister a couple of time when I was much younger. But this new link of blood has me wishing and dreaming Madonna will soon come and take me away and wash away my sorrows, they are I’m sure of part of some cult or even worse the founders of the Occult. Three sisters spilt through marriage, my Gran, Aunt Jujube and Aunt Vava. What strikes me is that my granny has lives all the way up north, hours away from us here in London, but the other two sister stuck side by side even in their marriages and lived in London also, West London. My family lives in East London, did my mother seek refuge elsewhere or is this merely a coincidence, I mean like I said she never spoke of them.
A family affair

{I have recollection of this picture, probably because I'm so young in it. The Woman standing up is my Gran, me in the dark on the left and Ramona sitting on our Mum's lap. The grinning lady, not a clue who she is,the guy hiding his face behind the baby girl, Uncle Clive. Oh that's right the grinning lady is one of the many women Uncle Clive has impregnated. The rest of the children are my Occult cousins, two from him and two from his twin, Uncle Rol, twins run in the family.}

Children of the corn

{Uncle Rol, the Occult cousins and you see that little brillo pad headed child who looks like he's screaming? That's Mike}

Rest aside what I think of this family for now, I have become really fond of my new found second cousins Mike and Tanny, they are adorable and sneaky just like I am however, I think their upbringing is slightly odd. The way they speak, the structuring and wording of their sentences are almost lay hand in hand with the language a Herculean would use, what Ramona uses, no not even her age slightly older. Sitting on his bed with my walkman in my lap and Tanny prancing around the tightly spaced room me and Mike talk about our schools until he swiftly changes subject as swiftly as my mother decided she loved the company of the new family.
“Roguey, have you ever been to Dominica before?”  he asks me.
“No, what’s that, where is it?” I still question people with a little puppy dog head cocking to the side.
“Oh…” he pauses ever so briefly looking down at the darkly patterned, old fashioned carpet I have only ever seen in like, old people’s homes. “It’s a different country, where you and…” The brushing sound of the door opening stops his trail of thought and his mother walks in. Telling us that we are now to go to the living room for dinner. “I’ll tell you later.” He says walking out the door. Just looking around his shared bedroom I feel sick with Closter phobia like symptoms. Two single beds, two windows, one large very used wardrobe, not much space really to move around the beds it’s better to just climb over them, chest of drawers to the right of everything where the bedroom door is, one hard push and you can lock your self in the room and a good way to escape the many beatings I get from my mum, I did think once that he had arrange his room in this fashion for a purpose but the size of the room really decided for him where things were to be place. Mikes is smart, but not that smart, just a couple of month younger than me and yet when he speaks I feel like I have to listen to his dry elbowed, never seen coco butter, bad crocked teeth and brillo pad hair self, but I love him, he’s my cousin, my of the Occult cousin that is.
Sitting and the dining table in the living room partitioned off by sofas for where they sit ever so lovingly together by the gas burning heater on cold winters nights, Aunt Claudine and her children that is, like where is the white central heating heaters? There aren’t any, really can they be that not with the times? How do they keep warm in their beds? Too many questions I really don’t care about right now living like this would break me, I’m glad my mum loves me enough to have sense and money to live where we live. She did always say to me “There are children out there worse off than you.” Boy do I believe her now, I haven’t even seen Tanny play with any sort of child toy yet the only thing that consumes her time is brushing her long nappy hair, maybe that is a toy for her oh well.  
Pushing my peas around in this watery substance Aunt Claudine dare calls gravy Mikes whispers “It’s where they take you to beat you.” I have no idea what he is talking about but I’m sure he is going to tell me later. Looking up from my plate seeing the glow from the fireplace on Ramona’s face as she sits on the end of the sofa, Meadow and Tanny are occupied in some stupid non-toy play and my mother and Aunt Claudine are speaking and laughing till her face begins to frown.
“No Claudine, no word of a lie, his face went blank, he walked over to the snooker table, picked up the ball and dashed it at the tv. Now you know that Jujube has a big tv.” My mother leans in to her and Aunt Claudine slaps her left arm down on the back of the sofa resting it and leaning forward to say “Yes I remember she had a tv in her family room, what you mean?” she says recognition on what my mother is about to say.
“Yes Rogue did it he broke the tv, which is why now when we go to Michael and her’s, he is not allowed to watch tv, or even go into the family room. She thinks he’s possessed.” There she goes again, my mother telling of yet another story of something terrible I have done, in the past that she has been so embarrassed about. Far as I am concerned, the snooker ball simply slipped out my hand while I was playing catch with it. What else was I supposed to do in a house full of adults and Ramona, plastered with freaking fugly doilies everywhere.
Changing their subject onto something that I am not yet the focus of Aunt Claudine says to mum “Mike is sometimes the same.” He shoot up to listen like a guard dog at the gates “But I have had to tell Tanny she is going to Mcdonald’s, a special Mcdonald’s” Now we all know Mcdonald’s is a special kind of treat, but a special Mcdonald’s, why the hell does Tanny get that? She’s far from special.
“Can I go too?” I quickly ask “Go to the special Mcdonald’s?” They both turn around like a secret has be unveiled yet still having to keep their cool.
“Oh you are Rogue, you are.” Mike says with a smerk, before his mother get the chance to tell him to shut up. 


© 2010 - 2012. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'